I'm done.
I'm done running.
I'm done running in races.
I'm so disappointed that no one has bothered to come out and see me run. Except for one time, and that was my EX-BOYFRIEND'S MOTHER! How does that make me feel when compared to my friends? I will never forget that feeling of seeing her there. I understand some races because they're out of town and at 8am. But when I had two races IN TOWN and today's race started at 1pm, still no one was there. That's enough time to get over a hangover, to wake up and shower or get out of church. No one was there to tell me that my time wasn't that bad after all. To let me know that it was the wind that held me back. No one to try to pick me up.
I'm just so disappointed and depressed. Luckily, I'll have my family's support for my two races in Southern Illinois and the one in Memphis. I still plan on doing those but everything else is off the plate. And sure I blame myself for this; I shouldn't have expected anything. Expect nothing and you'll never be disappointed. But I still had this glimmer of hope, tucked way down. While I didn't exactly come out and ask for an audience I didn't think I needed to. I put it in my blogs, mentioning the dates several times, in my MySpace calendar, etc.
Well, my spirit is defeated so I'm done running in races. What's the point when no one wants to support me? I'll keep training for the races in southern Illinos (and because I really like the feel of running [plus my calves are awesome!]) I'll have people to cheer for me down there. But I'll try not to mention it anymore, not even when I hit a milestone. I will still send out an email about the St. Jude charity raising however.
I'm also disappointed in myself. Because this means I do need the support, friendship and kinship after all. I am not a loner; while I can do things like this by myself, it's not as much fun as if I had someone to talk to. So yes, I am disappointed in myself that I want the company.
Oh and I also got a list of all those that sponsored me after all. Thank you so much to those that did! $90 was donated, my donation of $10 plus my race fee of $20 I raised a grand total of $120. At least I can be proud of that.
I'm done running.
I'm done running in races.
I'm so disappointed that no one has bothered to come out and see me run. Except for one time, and that was my EX-BOYFRIEND'S MOTHER! How does that make me feel when compared to my friends? I will never forget that feeling of seeing her there. I understand some races because they're out of town and at 8am. But when I had two races IN TOWN and today's race started at 1pm, still no one was there. That's enough time to get over a hangover, to wake up and shower or get out of church. No one was there to tell me that my time wasn't that bad after all. To let me know that it was the wind that held me back. No one to try to pick me up.
I'm just so disappointed and depressed. Luckily, I'll have my family's support for my two races in Southern Illinois and the one in Memphis. I still plan on doing those but everything else is off the plate. And sure I blame myself for this; I shouldn't have expected anything. Expect nothing and you'll never be disappointed. But I still had this glimmer of hope, tucked way down. While I didn't exactly come out and ask for an audience I didn't think I needed to. I put it in my blogs, mentioning the dates several times, in my MySpace calendar, etc.
Well, my spirit is defeated so I'm done running in races. What's the point when no one wants to support me? I'll keep training for the races in southern Illinos (and because I really like the feel of running [plus my calves are awesome!]) I'll have people to cheer for me down there. But I'll try not to mention it anymore, not even when I hit a milestone. I will still send out an email about the St. Jude charity raising however.
I'm also disappointed in myself. Because this means I do need the support, friendship and kinship after all. I am not a loner; while I can do things like this by myself, it's not as much fun as if I had someone to talk to. So yes, I am disappointed in myself that I want the company.
Oh and I also got a list of all those that sponsored me after all. Thank you so much to those that did! $90 was donated, my donation of $10 plus my race fee of $20 I raised a grand total of $120. At least I can be proud of that.
