I'm all by myself. I realised this today. I never felt it before until today. Now I'm starting to worry about my future and what is to become my future. First though, let's talk about this disastrous run.
I knew it was going to rain on my 13 mile run. That I was prepared for. I knew it was going to start about half way into it. I just wasn't prepared for the wind & the cold and the ice pellets to start hitting me in the face. I also wasn't prepared for the thunder & lightning either.
First half was easy. Wind was coming from the north but once I turned east that was fine. At the 7.57 mile mark, I heard the rain. That's OK, wasn't that strong. It actually helped me a bit as you'll see in my stats.
It started coming down harder right after 10 miles. I knew I only had 3 miles left at that point. But the rain started coming down from the side. And it was cold. And windy. I was starting to get soaked. I had to stop, I couldn't take it anymore. My shoes were so wet, the water was dripping off of my brim and the wind was picking it up and it was going in my eyes. I found a tree to hide behind. It wasn't very wide. I debated what to do. I sent a message to Twitter stating that I was in trouble. 2.5 miles out from my car according to my Garmin. While there I heard thunder and saw a quick shot of lightning. Then decided that I just needed to suck it up and get going. So I did that.
But a little while later I had to stop again. My feet were so heavy with water-soaked shoes. They felt like I was pulling lead. This time I found a bigger tree but it was in someone's yard. I hid behind there again. Pulled out my cell phone. Called a friend. He was in DeKalb. Couldn't come pick me up. Called another friend. He didn't know where Old State in Sycamore was at and he was on his way into Chicago. I started crying on the phone with him. I was so cold. I could barely speak my face hurt so much. I was 2 miles away. I sent a text to another friend since I was crying and waited to hear from him. I was going through the rest of my contacts thinking of who else would come out and get me. No other names stood out to me. Most either didn't live here or they have a family so then I would be bothering them with their Saturday morning activities. I didn't want to wait to hear from him so I headed on out again.
I stopped not long after though. My feet were so heavy still and it was just so cold. I stopped & waited. This tree wasn't as shelter friendly as the second one. I was getting wet. The water started rivers down the bark. I didn't get a message after 5 minutes so I headed on out again. I was crying again when I started. Earlier in the run I had heard "All By Myself" by Jamie O'Neal and that was all I could think of. Eventually the sobbing stopped and it was just me & the road and my anger & disappointment. I saw lots of headlights again. Could that be Rt. 64? It was!! Yay! I made it.
Then back to the park and to my car. I made several laps around the circle there to make it an even 13 miles. I figured I was already wet & soaked through that I just don't care and now that I can see my car, I'm no longer worried for my safety.
I guess in my wicked view of life, I've always seen 30 as the cut-off point. I had hoped to be married by 30. then that relationship came & went. Then I had hoped to be engaged by 30. Now I just hope to be in another relationship when I'm 30. And that's looking more and more grim (since I don't go out and meet anyone). No one wants to date you when you're 30. No one wants you to have their babies when you're 30. You're no longer seen as young & vibrant since you're in a new decade. Most people I know, friends & high school classmates, already have marriage & a family started or plan to long before their 30th year. So I guess that's what's making me all depressed now. I guess I was just fooling myself when I thought I wasn't gonna care about my 30th birthday. Yea, I realise a very skewed view but again, just my feelings.
I knew it was going to rain on my 13 mile run. That I was prepared for. I knew it was going to start about half way into it. I just wasn't prepared for the wind & the cold and the ice pellets to start hitting me in the face. I also wasn't prepared for the thunder & lightning either.
First half was easy. Wind was coming from the north but once I turned east that was fine. At the 7.57 mile mark, I heard the rain. That's OK, wasn't that strong. It actually helped me a bit as you'll see in my stats.
It started coming down harder right after 10 miles. I knew I only had 3 miles left at that point. But the rain started coming down from the side. And it was cold. And windy. I was starting to get soaked. I had to stop, I couldn't take it anymore. My shoes were so wet, the water was dripping off of my brim and the wind was picking it up and it was going in my eyes. I found a tree to hide behind. It wasn't very wide. I debated what to do. I sent a message to Twitter stating that I was in trouble. 2.5 miles out from my car according to my Garmin. While there I heard thunder and saw a quick shot of lightning. Then decided that I just needed to suck it up and get going. So I did that.
But a little while later I had to stop again. My feet were so heavy with water-soaked shoes. They felt like I was pulling lead. This time I found a bigger tree but it was in someone's yard. I hid behind there again. Pulled out my cell phone. Called a friend. He was in DeKalb. Couldn't come pick me up. Called another friend. He didn't know where Old State in Sycamore was at and he was on his way into Chicago. I started crying on the phone with him. I was so cold. I could barely speak my face hurt so much. I was 2 miles away. I sent a text to another friend since I was crying and waited to hear from him. I was going through the rest of my contacts thinking of who else would come out and get me. No other names stood out to me. Most either didn't live here or they have a family so then I would be bothering them with their Saturday morning activities. I didn't want to wait to hear from him so I headed on out again.
I stopped not long after though. My feet were so heavy still and it was just so cold. I stopped & waited. This tree wasn't as shelter friendly as the second one. I was getting wet. The water started rivers down the bark. I didn't get a message after 5 minutes so I headed on out again. I was crying again when I started. Earlier in the run I had heard "All By Myself" by Jamie O'Neal and that was all I could think of. Eventually the sobbing stopped and it was just me & the road and my anger & disappointment. I saw lots of headlights again. Could that be Rt. 64? It was!! Yay! I made it.
Then back to the park and to my car. I made several laps around the circle there to make it an even 13 miles. I figured I was already wet & soaked through that I just don't care and now that I can see my car, I'm no longer worried for my safety.
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I guess in my wicked view of life, I've always seen 30 as the cut-off point. I had hoped to be married by 30. then that relationship came & went. Then I had hoped to be engaged by 30. Now I just hope to be in another relationship when I'm 30. And that's looking more and more grim (since I don't go out and meet anyone). No one wants to date you when you're 30. No one wants you to have their babies when you're 30. You're no longer seen as young & vibrant since you're in a new decade. Most people I know, friends & high school classmates, already have marriage & a family started or plan to long before their 30th year. So I guess that's what's making me all depressed now. I guess I was just fooling myself when I thought I wasn't gonna care about my 30th birthday. Yea, I realise a very skewed view but again, just my feelings.
