I got this from another site. My taper haven't been that bad; no phantom pains, no flu. Now the Taper Binge... OH MY GOSH that is sooo true. I seriously cannot STOP eating at work!! My race day is this Saturday and I meant to post this earlier but forgot.
Right now we're in a segment of our training called Tapering. This is where we reduce our weekly miles, and let our bodies rest, rebuild and repair. After running so many miles each and every week, cutting back significantly can have some funny effects on the mind and body. I like to call it Taper Paranoia.
Taper Paranoia can present itself in any one of the following ways:
1. Phantom Pains. phantom pains strike at any time during taper. suddenly, you'll experience an ache, a tingle, a stabby stitch - some sort of malady in one or both of your legs. if you are tapering, there is a significant likelihood that this pain is not real! it's all in your head!
2. I've Forgotten How to Run. i've forgotten how to run is a complete loss of confidence in your running abilities. yes, you've spent the last six months running 5 days a week. yes, you sometimes even run in your sleep. and yet when mileage is cut during taper, your confidence can wane so dramatically that you wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat screaming 'i've forgotten how to run!'. fear not. although your brain may be incapacitated by the taper, your legs will know what to do on race day. follow them.
3. Taper Flu. taper flu consists of the sniffles, a stomach ache, sneezing, and various symptoms of malaria, the bird flu, west nile virus and ebola. although taper flu can actually occur (the immune system can be a bit weak from all the training), there is a greater chance that these symptoms are psychosomatic, and you are in fact perfectly healthy.
4. Taper Binge. four bags of cheetos. a pound of reese's pieces. half a bag of shredded mozzarella. 3 tins of baked beans. this, my friends, is the taper binge. it consists of an insatiable hunger; an appetite so ravenous you could leave Takeru Kobayashi in the dust. this, i believe, is where the parasite Tapeworm got its name. get it? tapeworm? taper? it all makes sense.
5. Taper Rage. by far the most hideous of taper symptoms, taper rage can turn the most pleasant of runners into a crazed, angry maniac. taper rage can only be made worse by people laughing at a runner in the midst of taper rage. is it that comical that i can get angry for having two carrots on my plate and three pieces of broccoli, when i wanted three carrots and two pieces of broccoli? is it?? IS IT??? think of taper rage as a drug addict's withdrawal. see, you've had a nice steady stream of endorphins for the last six months, and now you've barely got enough to keep the shakes away.
these are but 5 of the common symptoms of Taper Paranoia. there are many more. but fortunately, race day is less than two weeks away, and all will be right with the world once again!
Right now we're in a segment of our training called Tapering. This is where we reduce our weekly miles, and let our bodies rest, rebuild and repair. After running so many miles each and every week, cutting back significantly can have some funny effects on the mind and body. I like to call it Taper Paranoia.
Taper Paranoia can present itself in any one of the following ways:
1. Phantom Pains. phantom pains strike at any time during taper. suddenly, you'll experience an ache, a tingle, a stabby stitch - some sort of malady in one or both of your legs. if you are tapering, there is a significant likelihood that this pain is not real! it's all in your head!
2. I've Forgotten How to Run. i've forgotten how to run is a complete loss of confidence in your running abilities. yes, you've spent the last six months running 5 days a week. yes, you sometimes even run in your sleep. and yet when mileage is cut during taper, your confidence can wane so dramatically that you wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat screaming 'i've forgotten how to run!'. fear not. although your brain may be incapacitated by the taper, your legs will know what to do on race day. follow them.
3. Taper Flu. taper flu consists of the sniffles, a stomach ache, sneezing, and various symptoms of malaria, the bird flu, west nile virus and ebola. although taper flu can actually occur (the immune system can be a bit weak from all the training), there is a greater chance that these symptoms are psychosomatic, and you are in fact perfectly healthy.
4. Taper Binge. four bags of cheetos. a pound of reese's pieces. half a bag of shredded mozzarella. 3 tins of baked beans. this, my friends, is the taper binge. it consists of an insatiable hunger; an appetite so ravenous you could leave Takeru Kobayashi in the dust. this, i believe, is where the parasite Tapeworm got its name. get it? tapeworm? taper? it all makes sense.
5. Taper Rage. by far the most hideous of taper symptoms, taper rage can turn the most pleasant of runners into a crazed, angry maniac. taper rage can only be made worse by people laughing at a runner in the midst of taper rage. is it that comical that i can get angry for having two carrots on my plate and three pieces of broccoli, when i wanted three carrots and two pieces of broccoli? is it?? IS IT??? think of taper rage as a drug addict's withdrawal. see, you've had a nice steady stream of endorphins for the last six months, and now you've barely got enough to keep the shakes away.
these are but 5 of the common symptoms of Taper Paranoia. there are many more. but fortunately, race day is less than two weeks away, and all will be right with the world once again!
2 comments:
My marathon training experience?:
1. True. Quite a few phantom pains popped up that weren't there before. Mostly in my legs.
2. I'm not sure I'd forgotten, just unsure if I was even running correctly to begin with!
3. I didn't get sick, but I was VERY paranoid about it- washing hands constantly, eating vitamins, staying away from crowds (gym), lots of water...
4. I was STARVING all of the time especially during the peak of my training and quite a bit during my taper. S-T-A-R-V-I-N-G !!
5. I was a bit more agitated during my taper for sure.
You're going to do great!!!
It was awesome getting to meet you Lindsay! Hope you have a wonderful day! I am cheering for you! I heard there was a guy that was going to dress up as a chicken today? Have you heard about this? =)
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