My mom, women's rights and running

Since I'm off on vacation this weekend and won't know when I can blog again, I'm gonna talk about something personal but still about running.

When I first started racing in Sept 2006, I was doing it all in northern Illinois. I had friends but yet no one was coming out to see me run, even if they were local and in town. So I was getting a bit disappointed and lonely. I picked a race in southern Illinois where my family could come out and see me run. I probably guilted them into doing so.

So Memorial Day 2007 was the weekend. I had talked to my brothers and my mother and it all seemed fine. My mother didn't want to drive to this town but my brother said that if she drives to his place then they can go together. Then a bomb was dropped in that my father was going to come up from Mississippi to see me run. While this was great and I loved it, I knew that it was going to cause a problem with my mother.

Sure enough, when my mother found out he was going, she didn't want to do go anymore. Even though it was a 10k race and I told her that she can stand at the 3 mile mark and Dad can be at the finish line. She said that he'll find some excuse to come over and talk to her. They haven't talked in years to one another. So she said that she wasn't going. I cried and begged but wouldn't hear anything of it. So she didn't go. I didn't talk to her for the rest of the summer and into the fall. I ran my first half marathon that Dec 07 and I never heard back from her before the race for luck or after for congrats. I didn't even see her at Christmas time since she thought my youngest brother and I were incahoots against her and didn't want us over.

But in 2008 we got to talking again a little bit. She was introduced to my boyfriend at the time in late July so we were talking by that time. She still didn't take interest in my running however. I ran my first marathon Dec 08 and she again didn't respond to any of my emails so I stopped including her on them. In Feb 09 she had a health scare and we siblings were together with her before a doctor appt. We were at a fast food chain where the St. Louis marathon was going to go by. So I mentioned that to her. First time that we really talked about my running in depth. She told me that I was going to wear out my knees and hips. And that I should stop before I can't do it anymore. She didn't say anything else, didn't ask any questions. Just chastised me.

While she was in the hospital for 9 days that next month March, I would run before coming in to see her. She knew that. We talked a little more about my running then. In the following months, Spring 09, I would go down and stay with her on the weekends to help her out and keep her company, I would run. I did my longest run of 18 miles while in the town. She saw how I got ready, the many items I have on me. The food I need before and gels on my run. She offered to follow me in her car so that in case anything happened she'd be there. That was amazing to hear her say that. My heart jumped a bit. Still nothing about how proud she is of me. After the St. Louis Marathon, I sent out an email to my family about it. She actually wanted a picture of me crossing the finish line.

Last summer, she emailed me a health update and she said that she brought my St. Louis Marathon Finisher picture in to her nurse and the nurse got a big ole smile on her face because she's a marathon runner as well. My mom even told me that she doesn't have 3 toenails. Asked me about my toenails. Told her I have yet to lose any but I do have 2 black ones!

I came down in May and I had mentioned that I had started my period earlier that day. She asked oh well, you're not still going to run tomorrow are you? I told her of course. She didn't understand how I could do that. I went down at the end of June and it was really humid. She was worried that I was going to get heat exhaustion and collapse. Didn't want me out there.

I think she's still of the mindset that women can't do everything. They weren't officially allowed in Boston until 1972, 6 years after the first woman, Roberta Gibb, unofficially cross the finish line in 3:21. In 1971, the first female beat the 3 hour mark in a marathon. In 1979, it was a sub 2:30 NYC marathon for Grete Waitz. The New York Times ran an editorial pointing out that in just fifteen years the women's record had been lowered by one hour. Women didn't even have an official Olympics marathon until 1984!!! That was because of the exhaustion condition of many women after smaller races and the rumour that their uterus's could fall out. Apparently, according to this article, it could (almost) happen to a few select women.

My how times have changed. We are not as weak as the men (used to) think we are. We have a higher tolerance for pain than most men actually. Let's see them push something the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a peach! :-P That's why women are found to be in the top tier of ultras a lot more than men. But really, I'm glad that I can run. I would be lying if I said that I didn't take some glee in passing a guy in a race. Doesn't happen often and they're usually just starting to run at that point. I know I'm not the fastest girl out there but I'm pretty happy with my pace. Other people seem to be impressed with it too.

The next stereotype to get over would be pregnant woman running. I've heard many woman complain how they get dirty looks from people as they run on by. I did see a video of a woman who looked like she was about 6 or 7 months pregnant running (she owns a running skirt company so she was selling a new skirt for pregnant runners) and I must admit, it did look kinda funny. I know someone who recently became pregnant and she was a runner before she got pregnant. Even signed up for her first half marathon in September. Her doctor told her specifically not to get her heart rate above a certain number. Doctors tell their patients that nowadays so they have liability if anything should happen to the mother or baby. But it's best for both mother & baby. To keep the mother's health in shape. Plus, if you're a runner before getting pregnant you can still run up to when you feel it's comfortable.

But even after the baby is born, many women (granted if they find the time) can start running within a few months or even a few weeks! Paula Radcliffe won the New York City Marathon just 9 months after her baby was born and she had a fractured tailbone that happened during childbirth too!

I hope that if I have any nieces that I can empower them to embrace who they are and that they can change the world and never think "Oh, I'm just a girl, I can't do that."

Categories: family, women rights

St. Jude and my family

As a thank you to my family for supporting me in this race AND for travelling to Memphis to stand around and wait for me to finish, I wanted to give them something. Running related would be best so that they can look at and be reminded of the support they gave me. We're also going to spend all weekend together and even on Monday since it's my birthday. That means a lot to me that they're going to take the day off for that.

So I could not think of what to get them. I thought pictures were over done. I wrote to the LiveJournal community "runners" and asked for their help. A commenter had several good suggestions since I was running St. Jude why not give them St. Jude keychains. That got me thinking! St. Jude has a gift shop right online! And I'm a "fan" of St. Jude Memphis Marathon on Facebook and they had sent everyone a 15% coupon for anything they buy online. SCORE! Last year, I spent $90 on Thank-you cards for donators (that I never stupidly sent out, I will this year!) so it's like an extra donation to St. Jude. I don't know if you've noticed but I'm very into helping out St. Jude. :-)

So Friday night I spent trying to find stuff to give them. I have my Dad, brothers John and David, David's finanee Nikki and their son Devon. Along with Brent since he'll be coming down and he supported me throughout my running and is even doing the 5k that day.

Dad was easy. Coffee cup! Nikki was also easy, a candle and I added a lamp shade for a double bonus. Then I was glancing around the categories and saw food. David likes food! So I got him Snickerdoodles (once I looked up what they were). Devon was next which is easy since he's a kid (he's not going to want a kitchen dining set!). He wore my medal last year and loved it. So then I saw this medal like necklace with a ribbon, an initial on one side with the St. Jude logo on the other. PERFECT!

John was next. He's hard to shop for. So I kept texting him questions, do you use keychains. Do you wear hats? No to both. He asked what was up with the questions. So I called him and told him my dilemma. He said a shirt would be good. Really? So I sent him the link and he choose a long-sleeved green shirt.

Brent was the hardest. He's very picky about everything, even shirts. So I ended up getting him a Tree Ornament. Even though he doesn't have a tree. I figure he will one day and he can put it on there and remember me. And while I was at it, I grabbed one for myself. I chose the Red Penguin and the Blue Snowman.

I'm pretty happy with my choices. The Snickerdoodle and candle won't last forever. And I got Nikki the Snowflake lampshade so it doesn't say anything St. Jude related on it (I grabbed the inspirational one for myself :-) But David & Nikki are young and even though they have a kid, I don't think they quite realise what St. Jude is all about so is not quite into the whole thing. But John, Dad and Brent all says St. Jude or has the logo on it. Same with Devon's necklace.

There were other suggestions about food & snacks or Starbucks gift cards. I think I'm going to look to see if downtown Memphis has a Starbucks (update: HA! there's one right IN St. Jude Children's Research Hospital!) and then grab a couple gift cards for Dad & John & maybe Brent. I don't think Nikki or David will drink anything from Starbucks (update: David does drink coffee!). Maybe I should ask, just in case.

Today I'm going to get together an itinerary. Of places I want to take Brent (Graceland, Civil Rights Museum, a good Memphis BBQ place, etc) and what they could do while I'm out running my first marathon!

Do you realise I only have 3 Saturdays of running left before my big 26.2 miles? I thought of that last night in bed and I flipped! I also had a dream that my foot was broken and not only could I not run on it anymore but they put a cast on it and so I could even do any water running either!

Categories: family, St. Jude Marathon